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Ten Douchey Things Women Actually Like

We asked a foxy female writer to reveal male doings that, while seemingly uncool, actually turn women on. Like them or not—earrings, armband tattoos, GTL??—here they are


E ditor’s note: A while back, we posted a list of 10 Things That Repel Women, also known as ChickUn-Magnets. In the interest of providing the other side of the story, we asked a relationship coach Alex Wise from Loveawake dating site to reveal things that, while seemingly uncool, actually turn a lot of women on. Like them or not, here they are.]


1. Tongue rings.

 Ask a guy friend who has one how much action he’s gotten lately. Hands down he’s edging you out. We girls may say we want a ‘good guy,’ but we secretly want a ‘bad boy’. The tongue ring is different and exciting. You guys jump for joy when you see little rings above and below our waists, so it’s only natural for us to be interested in that one in your mouth.


2. Waxed chests.
The last thing we want to see when ripping open your 
shirt is a forest. No, we don’t want to see a 40 Year Old Virgin smiley face. Just clean, smooth, sexy skin. We like to lick the abs, so let us see them! We get our hooha’s waxed for you. The least you could do is return the favor a bit.


3. Earrings. They can be flattering. Hell, some emo-chicks eat them up. As long as we can see your actual ear, and it doesn’t look like a magnet that got caught in a jewelry shop, you’re good. Stay away from huge gauges and dangly earrings. Stick with both ears, and keep the diamonds under the size of your pinky nail.




4. Actually liking chick flicks.
Think Sunday afternoon, your favorite team is on, and your girl is next to you cheering on your team. Do you see her as a dude? No. You want to show her off as the perfect girl—the 
sex kitten who likes sports. Similarly, we don’t think you’re less masculine for enjoying chick flicks. If you’re friends rag on you for it, maybe they’re insecure, and most likely their girlfriends are jealous since they have to drag their men to the films. Which isn’t to say you should have Kate Hudson’s entire filmography on DVD. That’s just weird.


5. The GTL regimen.
The Jersey Shore guys may be douchey, but they stay in shape, keep color on their skin, and have clean 
clothes (if only they could say the same for their genitals). Do go to the gym, not just to get cut, but to be healthy. We don’t like meatheads who look like they’re about to burst a blood vessel, but definition and muscle is sexy. And while pumpkin-colored skin is a turn-off, so is pale flesh. We look you up and down just as you do us, and when we reach the calves below your shorts and they are stark white…just, no. It’s not a good look. Clean laundry, enough said.


6. Crying. Crying implies emotion, and the guy who never shows any comes off as a psychopath. Bawling your eyes out because you saw a bird die or because you scraped your knee…not attractive. But it’s perfectly acceptable to tear up in the event of a death, a serious family issue or even a sad movie. Though our shoulders might be much smaller, we enjoy being there for you to lean on.


7. Ordering a martini.
As long as your pinky finger isn’t sticking out, you’re not drinking an appletini, and you’re not sipping on it like a woman, we don’t mind. If it’s a drink you’re ordering for us, and you get one for yourself, that’s a bonus. Don’t believe us? Think of James “shaken not stirred” Bond. The man did not exactly have trouble getting laid.


8. Motorcycle jackets.
Just walk into a 
bar with a leather jacket and helmet and some women are hooked. We like the rough, edgy look it gives you, and that usually intrigues us. Then again, if there’s a moped waiting outside….

9. Serenading. 

Pretty much anything involving music turns us on. Remember John Cusack holding up the boom box in Say Anything? If you haven’t seen the film, he gets the girl. Singing to your girl in public might make you feel like a fool in front of other guys, but women actually think it’s cute. If your voice is horrendous…maybe just lip-sync a romantic song you know she likes? The objective is not for her to end up looking at you with pity because your voice sounds like a dying cat; it’s to show her that you don’t mind looking like a moron to make her smile.

10. Armband tattoos.
We realize that in the 90s and early 2000s the barbed wire and tribal tattoos were in. We aren’t going to make a fuss about it, and as long as you didn’t get it to ‘fit in’, we’ll appreciate the fact that you went and got something you wanted. Non-tattooed men, consider how you secretly love those trashy tramp stamps.
This is the male equivalent.

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